Seven Years Ago

I have several blog ideas in mind for this week (Thanksgiving with the Engel cousins, preparation for Christmas, fun pictures of the kids), but my heart wants to do one remembering my mom. Seven years ago tomorrow she died. There is really no easy way to come out and say it. It is hard to believe that it has been seven years, so much has happened. I started and finished my MBA, my Dad retired, Sharla moved up to Chicago and completed her radiology degree, Dan and I have had two kids, Dad moved into a new house and got remarried, the list goes on and on.

The hardest part for me not having my mom here today is knowing what she is missing out on. Sharla and I have really grown up and become the best friends my mom always wished us to be. (We fought like cats and dogs growing up and my mom frequently was in tears over it.) I hate that we have been cheated out on the friendship that most mothers and daughters form once they hit the adult years. I also feel sad over the fact that our kids will never know her. She would have been in their lives so much we probably would have had to set some boundaries and told her not to visit as much. I joke about this often! What a good problem that would have been to have though. Jacob and Bailey have formed a good relationship my dad's new wife, Debbie, and Jacob calls her "grandma" which is absolutely okay with me. She may not be blood, but they will always see her as their grandma and I love that. Dan's mom also gets to play grandma, but with eight grandchildren it is a bit chaotic when we all get together.

My mom was a great person and taught me more than I realized growing up. Now that I am a mom, I have a lot of "aha" moments when I see what my mom was trying to teach us all of those years!

This post is not meant to be a downer, but a way to memorialize this day. Although in the beginning it was tough to understand why God took her, I do see His plan in several ways. She was suffering so much in that last year, that it really wasn't fair for her to go through it all anymore. Her body simply quit. She was a silent sufferer, yet always tried to keep a smile on her face. Her death has made me a much stronger person. After she died, I had to become more independent. I could no longer call her for advice or ask for help on something. This became so evident when the kids were born and we had to figure it out on our own.

I like to think that my mom is an angel helping us walk through life here on Earth. I truly think she had a little something to do with the kids being born. I look at Jacob as a blessing after trying so long for him, but Bailey is our miracle girl who was so unexpected, yet such a gift. My mom would have been on cloud nine with her grandchildren and I firmly believe that she is getting thrill up in Heaven watching them grow up and probably getting a kick out of watching me struggle with them just like she did with Sharla and I :)

Here are some pictures of my mom....

Mom, me (almost 4), Sharla (7 months)

One of my favorite memories as a child - cross country skiing

Out west during one of our vacations. This vacation we went to Yellowstone, Colorado, Grand Canyon, Arizona, and several national parks. To this day, this is one of my favorite vacations and this is my favorite picture of my family growing up. (1993)

Goofing around during our annual Easter picture. My guess is Sharla said/did something funny to make us laugh. Laughter was never missing in our house growing up!

Annual Christmas picture (1997)

Taken while decorating for my wedding reception.

Last Christmas picture. Dan and I hosted Christmas at our house for the first time. We didn't have much furniture and the cooking was mediocre, but we still had a good time.

Last picture I have of my mom, taken with Rascal right after we got him. (October 2002)

Christmas Parties

We've had a couple of Christmas parties in the last week. ISU held an employee party last Sunday for all of the employee's kids and grandkids. I heard over 900 people came! It started with a performance by the Gamma Phi Circus and then the families could take a picture with Santa and participate in fun activies, like crafts and bouncy houses. The circus ran long (over an hour!) so by the time that was over it was all we could do to sit on Santa's lap and leave. The party occurred during Jacob's naptime, so he wasn't in the best mood. You'll see by the picture that Santa was a bust for the Engel kids this year!! Maybe next year.

The kids also had their parties at daycare this week, which was fun. Bailey's room really doesn't do much, obviously, so I hung out in Jacob's room. Out of 15 kids, I was the only parent. I was a little surprised, but it was still nice to watch Jacob interact with the other kids and get a glimpse as to what he is like there. It is so incredible to watch how two teachers keep fifteen two-year olds in line. They do a great job! I stayed through a few activities and snack time and then snuck out. Below are a few pictures of Jacob's party.

Reindeer game

Snack time

Jacob and Kenna who were sitting next to each other (daughter of our good friends)

Cute and gross at the same time!

Bailey with her three amazing teachers

Bailey's 8 Months

Bailey turned eight months this past week and she is like a completely different person all of a sudden! She learned so many new things over the last few weeks and her personality is really starting to show. I am having a blast with her right now and can't get enough! I had her home with me for a whole week during Thanksgiving week due to doctor appointments and illness and really got attached to being around her all the time. We thought Jacob was a happy child, but she really outshines him in that area!!

Bailey's post-UTI tests came back negative, so her UTI was just random and hopefully won't recur. We spent three hours at the hospital and she developed a fever while we were there. After it rose after we got home, I took her into our pediatrician to be checked out and they did another catheter on her to check for a UTI. It came back negative, but the poor girl had to endure two catheters in one day. I felt so horrible for her!! It turns out that her fever was from a virus that hit all of us during Thanksgiving week. All Bailey had was a fever, but Dan and I had the stomach flu, and Jacob had a low-grade fever and didn't eat for two days. Fun times! I'm just thankful that it skipped the two days we had plans to celebrate Thanksgiving with our families.

Bailey at eight months:

*Crawling! - she crawled for the first time during Jacob's birthday party (11/21)

*Standing with support - this has to be her absolute favorite thing right now, nothing lights her up more at the moment!

*Eating two meals a day and loving it

*Starting to make letter sounds - "baa, baa" and "maa, maa". She said "mama" also on 11/21.

*Holding her bottle by herself

*Pulling herself up onto her knees, she still isn't strong enough to pull up into a standing position yet on her own.

*Strong-willed on getting to certain things. Once she spots something she wants, she can crawl very quickly to it now.


Crawling (this is within two hours of her first doing it)




Playing with a balloon that Aunt Sharla had




Dancing with the musical frog